Totally Sour
by MoonlightPrincess5sixthousand
Summary: A bad situation told from Seras' point of view. Enter the ditzy mind of a young vampire...


_THIS IS TOLD FROM SERAS' POINT OF VIEW._

So, one day, like, there was this guy, okay, and he like had ugly greasy hair and Integra like hated him sooooo bad so one day she like took a gun and decided to shoot his head off!

So she's like walking to go shoot this guy in the head and her gun is all like cocked and ready to blow this guy's brains out when all of a sudden this other guy shows up right in front of Integra and she stares up at him and says 'Can't you see I'm busy?' and the dude says with this like sexy-ish grin 'Looking for you, my sweet'.

So, Integra gets all mad right, and she decides to use one of her bullets on him because he's so annyoing and he's in her way of shooting the ugly greasy guy. So she like shoots him and he like doesn't die cause he's a vampire and all dead and shit and Integra's like 'Shit, that was stupid I'm an idiot' and Alucard's like 'what the fuck is this shit? Alll I want to do is make sweet love to you', so Integra's like 'Maybe later, but I gotta go shoot this ugly greasy guy in the face'. So Alucard smiles like some crazy dead guy and shit, and uses his darkness powers and friggin disappears.

Cause Alucard was like totally sour.

So Integra like continues on her way, and she realizes that she's gonna like need a car and shit because its like a really long way to where the greasy guy is and she's wearing heels and theyre gonna kill her feet if she walks. So she whistles for this dude and he pulls up in his car so she gets in and like tells him to go where the greasy guy is and he's like 'Man, bitch, that's really far away. Do I really gotta drive that far?' and she's like 'Ya, cause I really gotta shoot this guy in the face cause he's really friggin annoying'.

Cause driver guy was like totally sour.

So like, this girl Shannon randomly appears and is like 'Are you doing a parody of me?' and Integra's like 'Who are you, and hell no, I gotta go shoot this ugly guy in the face' and Shannon's like 'Oh fine then' and realizes she's in the wrong dimension and like disappears because the laws of physics says so.

And Shannon was totally sour.

So Integra continues on her way in the car with this guy driving the car, but then he like randomly pulls over to this kinda romantic spot with sun setting and shit, and she's like 'I thought I told you I wanted to shoot an ugly guy in the face?" and he was like 'but I'm no ordinary driver, I'm actually ANDERSOON!" and she's like 'Aw damn' and palmforeheads like five times. So he like climbs in the backseat with her and she's like 'Aren't you supposed to be a priest and aren't priests supposed to like not have sex EVAR?" and he's like 'Bitch, fuck that, you're too sexy' and then Integra, not wanting to waste another bullet, like jumps out of the car and fuckin books it away.

And Anderson was like totally sour.

So like, now Integras been like runnin for a while and shes like 'Damn this is why I didn't walk in the first place' so she goes into a nearby restaurant and is like to counter boy 'Do you know how I can get to Ugly Greasy Guy faster?' and he's like 'Ya, with me'. Only problem is that this dude is like ugly and greasy himself, not to mention hes fuckin fat ass and wears glasses and no joke, hes a fuckin nazi. So Integras all creeped out and shit, but she needs to get to ugly greasy guy so she follows him around for a bit and gets into his car and then they drive for a while and then he says 'Now babe, the time has come, how'd you like to have a little fun?' and she said 'If we could only please be on our way, I will not run.' THAT'S WHEN THINGS GOT OUT OF CONTROL- Integra shot him in the head and used his car to drive to ugly greasy guy.

And Nazi fatass was totally sour. And dead.

So she finally shows up at ugly greasy guy's pad and is like 'Alright, I gotta shoot you in the face now, ugly greasy guy' so she like breaks down the door with her awesome ninja skills and runs in with the gun all cocked and ready to blow ugly greasy guy's brains out...again...and she strikes a totally awesome secret agent post with her gun like to the sky like Charlie's Angels and is like 'Let's do this'. So ugly greasy guy pops out of the shadows and is like 'OKAY! : D' so Integra like points the gun to his greasy head and is like 'What do you mean okay?!?!?!1?!?!!?!?!" And because ugly greasy guy was like in a towel and integra like got a lustwave, because you know she hadn't been like laid in a loooooong time, they like have hot kinky sex on top of the microwave. And afterwords Integra walked out of ugly greasy guys pad with an this totally pissed off look on her face with her gun still cocked.

Cause Integra was totally sour.

And I tell you, this was totally disgusting to watch, like.. at the beginning it wasn't so bad and I was totally pumped to see Integra blow ugly greasy guy's brains out cause no joke he's really fuckin annoying and I really hate him so I started to follow her to see her blow his brains out but then at the end it was totally gross cause they totally had sex and it was totally disgusting cause he's like greasy and it was just friggin gross.

And I was totally sour.


End file.
